Hello Welcome Back to the beautiful and honest Clueless Babes blog! It is a pleasure to have you here with me Clueless, because I feel like we have a lot to talk about. I am currently having an identity crisis and honestly I feel like I am always having one and I am so sick of it! I will say this identity crisis is a bit different. Growing up I always knew I liked women, as well as men but over the years I have been much more repelled by men and much more attracted to women. I know what some of you guys are thinking though, “Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” The answer to that amazing question is yes, I do. I have an amazing boyfriend. He is super supportive of me and everything I chose to do in life, he always has my back and has had SO much patience with me and my growth journey. So my love, if you are reading this, Hello, hi, thank you and I love you.
So a quick little backstory, it is currently March 20th, 2023 as I am writing this and my boyfriend has been in Kenya since November of 2022. Before he left for Kenya I told him I want to explore being with women a bit more, since I’ve always been with men and never fully explored my desire for women. So as the supportive boyfriend he is, he agreed and said I may explore, flirt and have sex with women as long as it’s within our boundaries. I followed suit of course and made sure my exploration wasn’t out of desperation and made sure I was aware of the type of women I have encounters with. I ended up joining this app called HER, and if you don’t know what HER is, it is a dating app created by Queer people for Queer people. It is a women focused queer lgbtq+ app that promotes a safe, inclusive space that allows for connection through communities and events. Joining the app has been amazing and has made it super easy to identify the type of women I am looking for, which ended up leading me to this girl who I will call Nova.
Nova and I met on the app and have been talking basically nonstop since we matched with each other, and that was back in mid February. I have met her in person and we have hung out, gone on dates, spent the night with each other and done some adult-ier things. All of those things have me questioning my sexuality and where I am on the spectrum of bisexuality if I am even on that spectrum. What if I have been wearing men as a coverup to what I really want? What if my boyfriend is the only exception of a man I like. There have been so many questions that have run through my mind and I honestly don’t know what to do with them. I also am debating on how I am going to come out to my parents, if I am at all. Part of me really just wants to wait until I have my own house and invite my immediate family over for thanksgiving dinner and show them my husband and my wife because not only am I a woman who likes women I am also a woman who wants multiple partners. I want to start a riot I tell you! I lied though, it's not just part of me that wants to announce it that way but about 99% of me wants to do it that way. I think it would be so hilarious to see their faces. Maybe I just don’t respect my family because I know it’s rude to do but I think it would be the funniest shit ever.
Anyways keep a lookout for Pt. 2 of “Mom, I think I’m Gay,” I will be diving deeper and sharing more of the thoughts that currently go through my head. Thank you guys so much for reading, especially if you made it to the end! If you haven’t subscribed please do so by scrolling to the bottom of this page and entering your information. Leave a comment and don’t be afraid to leave a heart. Love you guys so much!
Signing Off,
-Clueless
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